Empowering Us

We are resilient, we are helpers, we are experts…we are human.  As a counselor we are seen as helpers to many clients that suffers from harsh mind altering conditions; depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc. We are exposed to the hurt, pain, frustration, sometimes trauma filled experiences of our clients on a day to day bases. However, because of who we are and the resilience that we possess, we continue to do our jobs as experts in the fill of helping. We continue to take on the dark secrets of others, and the shame that has fulfilled their lives. We are excited to see the evidence of our work when finally they are able to hold their heads up high and walk out of our door. However, what happened to all the baggage that has been dumped on to us? Who will help us as we continue with the wear and tear on our own mind and bodies?

Many times as counselors, we may find ourselves watching the clock periodically throughout the day hoping that time flies by. It’s not because we dislike our job, it’s simply because we are mentally drained, and emotionally exhausted. Ultimately, the lack of focus, may cause us to miss out on important points in our client’s story. Therefore, the client is forced into a state of preparation or back into the state of contemplation. We must stop allowing ourselves to be consumed by the negative energy over time and learn another avenue of how to dispose of it. In other words we must stop the burnout before it stops us and interfere with our clients which are in our society among us desperate to be helped and saved by us.

I know we have different outlets such as conferences to attend, counselor getaways, and other counselors to talk to, but what do we do in the mean time before these events roll around. Where is our outlet? How many of us take our own advice as far as the famous “self-care.” Time and time again we take our work home with us. Many times we have that one case of the day that we can’t shake. Trying to come up with different strategies and hoping for the best for our client. Meanwhile, our mind never stops working. This is why I felt this blog is so important for us, the counselors. We can know that we need to avoid the burnout or compassion fatigue, but unless we actually take the time out for ourselves every day or every other day, burnout still wins in the end. How many times have you painted just to relax, took a warm relaxing bath with music and candles, made time to visit your good friends, played sports or watched your favorite sport live, lastly but not least have read a good book? In the book The Resilient Practitioner, Thomas Skovholt, gives a self-care action plan, speaks about resiliency, and provide a revised resiliency inventory for us to use.

As counselors we do a lot, we take on a lot, why not embrace ourselves a lot. If we don’t take care of ourselves we will not be able to adequately take care of our clients. I dare you to take care of yourself. There are different techniques and information out here in the world of counseling for us to combat burnout and compassion fatigue let’s use it and continue to be strong, confident, effective in our lives and in our client’s lives.

Be Empowered

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TREAD CAREFULLY

As I walk the path that is laid out for me, I must be careful, vigilant, and compose to allow my father to guide me. You see, one can get in their own way of being blessed and finding their purpose in life. Many distractions in life occurs when you’re not following the plan of Yah (God). When all you had to do was listen and be watchful to arrive at the destination that has been set and destined for you. Jeremiah 1:5 states that, “before he formed thee in the belly, he knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb he set you apart.”  Now, I’m not saying that there will not be some bumps here and there. I’m saying if you are on the right path you will receive an expected end, a reward so to speak through or after those bumps.

STAYING FOCUS

Vigilance, you must have vigilance to stay clear of the little fiascos that life loves to bring. You see, I must be watchful because the devil can use any devices or anyone to hinder or destroy my dream. I must stay focus and steadfast on this journey due to what I have seen. My future is bright, with so much fatness and astonishment that no one can understand and see it but me. Again, I must stay focus and encouraged even if no one else can hear it, see it, or understand it. This path is brittle, I must tread carefully to reach my promised destination that is laid out before me.  After all, I’m the only one that can hinder my blessing by allowing myself or others to be used by the enemy.

 

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Rise, Take Up Your Bed and Walk

Today I declare it. I declare that we shall, “RISE, TAKE UP OUR BED AND WALK.” Just as the son of God had told the impotent man (John 5:7,8).

At some point you must get tired of being tired, but that doesn’t mean give up or throw in the towel. It means you are ready for change. Tired of being broke, working pay check to pay check, tired of not being healed, hurting every morning when you wake up, tired of frustration, due to the cares of this world, tired of being held back. Well, I’m over it, we are over it. It’s time to move, it’s time to rise.

The How

My thoughts shall change to positive thoughts. Every negative thing that happens to me, I shall see it for my good. I’m done being stuck. It’s time to move, it’s time to grow, mentally, spiritually, and financially. I’m over the hurt, it’s time for happiness, it’s time for growth, I Will Prosper. We Will Prosper. I will make it, just as the impotent man was healed from his infirmity after thirty and eight years (John 5:5). I will keep the faith, rise and take up my bed, my baggage, and walk. Again, I Will Prosper! I will move, I will encourage myself, I will be bold, I will be strong, I will walk to my freedom, from hurt, from strife, and from stress. To a life of freedom, happiness, and greatness, because I will, “RISE, TAKE UP MY BED AND WALK!”

BE BLESSED.

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Prosper

Prosper, Prosper, Just Prosper,

are the words that continues to echo through my head as I sit across from my client. I can feel and see the hurt, frustration, pain, and tiredness within. However, instead of saying or doing some meditation or relaxation technique, the only thing that I can do is look her in her eyes and say, “Prosper,” in a soft, genuine, low-key voice. You see, I need this to resonate with you. I need this to get past your conscious mind, I need this to get to your soul, your unconscious side. I need you to know that you can prosper.  So, I look into her eyes again and say, “Prosper, Just Prosper Quetta.”  You see this time the table is flipped. I’m my own client looking into a mirror, encouraging myself that I can make it. I can do this. God wouldn’t have brought me to this if he wasn’t going to take me through it.

“Prosper, Just Prosper.”

Let it resonate with you. Hear it, take it in, feel it, see it, and do it. Move, get up, and pick yourself up. So many times, we may find ourselves in situations that you don’t want to be in.  You want more, need more, but can’t see more, can’t understand how to reach more. Well, it begins in the mind. You are an over-comer. This is something you must know, you must feel. You have the strength to do or accomplish any and everything that you want. Don’t blame, stop blaming others for your current situation. Things may have happened and due to circumstance, you are in a mess. However, at the end of the day the only person that can keep you in a permanent situation is you.

DIG DEEP!!!!

Dig deep, reach down, pull with all your might, and move, prosper, fight.  It’s not time to give up yet. “Prosper!”  “Just Prosper.”  I need you to Prosper. You need you to prosper.

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Running Into A Burning Building

 

Why,

why do I keep running into this burning building. I know it’s hot, I know it’s dangerous, and it’s pure insanity. Every time I run in I get hurt, I feel betrayed, I lose love, I am along. At this point my mind is in a severely disordered state of mind (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). I’m lost. I keep running back into this fire because I’m trying to fill a void. I feel empty, hollow. If I turn to drugs, alcohol, or people, I can pretend for a little while that I’m secure, the void is gone, I’m not lost, I do have it together and I’m not losing control. I can’t keep running into this building. At some point it’s going to fall on me. I’m tired of these sores. I wake up, and hate I ran into the fire, it burned. It continues to burn worse each time I go in. This time it cost me my freedom, next time it may cost me my life.

My Serenity

I’m tired, I can’t keep running. I’m done but I don’t know how to stop running into the fire. I’m surrounded by fire; negative talk, negative actions, negative thoughts. Heck, “I can’t see the forest for the trees,” Nicholas Sparks. I can’t see the rainbow in the mist of all this rain, but I want to so bad. All I have is this little book some old man gave me on a store parking lot, The New Testament. So, I guess I’ll flip through it. Well, check this out,

“Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.” “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart.” “And you will find rest for your souls.” “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Mathew 11:28-30)

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Be a Warrior and Survive

Warrior: A person engaged or experienced in warfare; broadly; a person engaged in some struggle or conflict, poverty warriors. (Merriam-Webster)

Survivor: A person who survives; to remain alive after death; to continue to function or prosper despite (WITH STAND) (Merriam-Webster)

These two words have something in common, they both take a brave and strong individual that can find the will, want, and need to fight. Many times we hear the saying, “life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” The thing is, that is what scares so many of us in life, not knowing what we’re going to get. Paralyzing us into a stalemate state. Well, I’ve realized it’s time to stop looking at life as full of scary and frightening unknowns. Instead, I decided to look at life as if it’s an adventurous game and life itself as my component. This is when the warrior and survivor in me begins to rise. Now will you allow it to rise in you?

NO Life, You Can’t Defeat Me!

In life you must be a warrior because you are constantly fighting a war. I believe it was Paul that said, “when I would do good evil is present, and we are constantly at war with ourselves,” Roman 7:21-23. Counselors or not we are all human, we all have some form of issues just as anyone else. Why, because this is life. Life has its way of teaching you, training you, rewarding you, or sometimes destroying you.

Today, this is all I want to say, “BE A Warrior and Survive.” So many times, life kicks the crap out of you, slap you with hurt, uppercut you with betrayal, kick you with lost and sometimes drag you with pain. You cry, you shout, but don’t stop fighting, fight back. There’s a scripture that says, “According to your faith be it unto you.” Mat9:29. In other words, continue to believe that you can go on. Continue to believe that there’s better on the other side of a messed-up situation. Don’t be afraid what is coming next because there’s been a period of nothing but bad falling in your lap. I believe it was Job in the bible that continued to have problems back to back, losing everything he had including his children. However, he was blessed because he decided to be a warrior, a survivor and decided life wasn’t going to get the best of him. Job 1-42. Now I didn’t say Job didn’t get weak, at one time he said and felt that he wanted to give up. However, he placed his hand over his mouth and realized that it’s better if he continue to hold on and push through the calamity he was going through. Therefore, Job was blessed.

I leave this with you, be a fighter, a warrior and survive. Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith Yah, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

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A Journey to Success- I Figured It Out

Success, according to Webster’s dictionary, is degree or measure of succeeding, favorable or desired outcome; also, the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence. So, the bible says, “So a man thinketh so is he.” Proverbs 23:7 part A.  Also, James Allen wrote a book As a Man Thinketh, this is a very good book to read to begin transforming your mind to living a rich and healthy life. You see everyone at some point think about success, some for a moment and others their entire life. So, I figured it out.

I Figured It Out

First, I had to know the definition of Success, but not what others think of me and not what others think success is. As I look at my life as an outward person looking in, I look successful. I have a great home, lovely job, and I have it together. The only thing, I myself, still want more. Therefore, in my own eyes I am not successful, but on the road to becoming successful.  After listening to Les Brown, a motivational speaker, I realized “when you stop dreaming, you stop living.” Guys quite frankly, for me, I feel that I just started living, there’s so much more that Yah, (God- Ps 68: 4) has in store for me. I am outgrowing my beautiful home, my great job, my life as everyone looking in has seen it. I am now beginning to live, to enjoy my life, to make moves in a different direction than before. I am beginning to become what YHWH always had in store for me. I am becoming the word itself, “I am success, not a success.” I leave this with you: You Become What You Think therefore start thinking a more excellent way. 1 Corinthians 12:31.

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So I Figured It Out

So, I figured out how to reach my clients, spirit to spirit.  Yes, spirit to spirit. I don’t know how many of you believe in God and that’s ok, but just hear me out before you dismiss me. Counseling 101 teaches us to be congruent and empathic with our clients. So how can we do that if we don’t listen to what they are saying and try to force them to where we think they should be? Right you can’t effectively. So, I learned that once you do decide to listen empathically to your clients you’re listening to their spirit. Your listening to their soul that Is crying out for help. That negative energy, vibe, or character flaw that some people call it, is what I call a form of spirit or negative energy. A spirit, in most cases, that one is trying to get rid of. Galatians chapter 6:1 in the bible says, “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.” So, let’s look at what I’m saying and how this applies to counselors.

Case Study:

A client come into your office with a very low countenance. As you begin to speak with them their appearance begins to change. They become more agitated or aroused as they speak about their situation. You lean in to show that you’re listening. A dialogue begins to form between the two of you. While doing this, you notice a change coming over your client. It’s a sense of relief and ease, gradually you can begin to feel a shift in the room. Your client that was once carrying a spirit of heaviness and weight, change to a more candor spirit. You see this is you speaking to the spirit of an individual. That negative energy that was once there is now filled with a sense of peace and control. You see, the client was over taken by their fault, issues or situation. However, due to your skill as a counselor and spiritual connection, you were able to restore them through meekness, which is patience and empathy. So where did all that negative energy go? Your client is restored, and you are now feeling drained, tired, and simply feeling a way that words can’t explain. What happened? Well at this point you have allowed your brethren fault to overtake you as the good book read in Galatians.

My Next Move

Well now that your feeling this crappy, it’s time to regroup, take a moment write out your notes, if you can process what happened in that session with another colleague, do it. If that is not possible, exercise. You must rid yourself from the negative energy some way. Once you do this, fill yourself up with positive energy. Take a relaxing bath, listen to your favorite music, or just take a nap. What every it takes to reenergize, do it and re-center yourself. The next day you will be ready to tackle the day, only this time you will be smarter and more aware of how to listen to your client and allow that negative energy to go out the room into someone hands that are greater than your own. Therefore, I leave you with this; Mathew 11: 28,29 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

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Self Fulfilment, Purpose of Life

What is my Purpose?

Have you ever asked the question, “What is my purpose in life?” Why would we ask ourselves that question? After all, we are helpers, therefore we see ourselves as having a purpose. We fill fulfilled because we help others and that gives us a sense of fulfilment, a sense of purpose or does it? Have you ever question yourself, “Am I doing enough?” “Am I really making a difference?” Perhaps you have gotten to the point of just going through the motions.
You see, to have self fulfilment and have a purpose in life is deep. It’s difficult to have true self-fulfillment if you lack being in good health, rather that’s mind, or body, mentally or physically? Trust me I’ve been there. How can one have true purpose of life if one only considers their purpose for living in one aspect of life? What happens when that which was considered your purpose of being is gone? So as a counselor you may say, “my purpose is to help others,” however still filling a void and dissatisfaction in other areas of your life. It sucks. It’s like a place between gray and dark, shallow and hollow.
Although you may experience these emotions and ideas while on the journey of life, self fulfilment and purpose can be found throughout your entire life. Happiness is key, peace and harmony are a must. Once you begin to feel happiness you begin to feel peace and a sense of harmony. Once those feelings are in place all the negative feelings are washed away and voids are filled because there are no more room for negative thinking or negative energy, and finally true purpose is found.

Achieving Happiness

So, how does one get to that happiness, peace, and harmony? When I begin to look at myself and wonder what it was that I was missing, that is when I begin the journey of becoming who God, intended for me to be. Not by lingering in the what if’s, not by wondering in the past, but by realizing it’s the now, the moment at hand that can change. Also realizing that I can change it. I begin to realize that the pass is the pass and the future is the only thing that can be manipulated by thoughts and actions. Therefore, I begin to find happiness which began in good health. Feeling good in the body helps me to feel good in the mind. Feeling good in the mind began the journey of self fulfilment. I became clear upon what I wanted. I wanted my outward life to reflect how my inward life felt which was rich, energetic, honorable. I had finally figured it out. Finally, I had reached happiness, which then came peace and harmony.

I Figured It Out

I accomplished my happiness by learning that hurting mentally or physically, no matter my job tittle or degrees on the wall, started within my mind. My thoughts affected my body then my body affected my work ethic. I learned when I begin to think differently and positively, I begin to take care of my health. My body begins to transform, thus my way of life all around begin to renew. I had begun my journey of self fulfilment.
We all have different experiences in life. Some trials may test our physical body while others our mental states but at the end of the day it’s how you view what is thrown at you to achieve fulfilment and purpose in life. I leave with you a passage from the bible; Third John 1:2 Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prosperity.

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